Butterflies and hummingbirds

My garden has two butterfly bushes and my neighbors have a butterfly bush too. I've got an old clawfoot bathtub in the backyard, something left behind by the previous owners of the house, that I've planted a mini-field of wildflowers in, and there are various other foliage that's been sprouting flowers recently, including the crepe myrtles. These colorful plants have attracted some very beautiful visitors to my yard all summer.

Now summer is ending.

I see meaning in most things. I believe that the natural world shares its experiences with us in a mystical way, if only we're open to the idea.

So, with that in mind, I've spent the summer looking for some meaning to life while watching in awe as butterflies of all species and all colors -- some black with blue spots, some orange and black, some yellow and white -- flitting from flower to flower and flirting with the warm (often hot!) August breezes. I've also watched ruby-throated hummingbirds zip and zoom from tree branch to feeder and back again, myself in awe of their grace and speed and just how tiny these creatures are in comparison to the blue jay who happens to be sharing the tree.

I discovered some things about the butterflies and hummingbirds. They each hold symbolism and meaning in different cultures and in many traditions. For me, these beautiful creatures symbolize freedom, life, beauty, new beginnings.

Summer may be ending, but life goes on, with each day holding the promise of a new beginning.

Time flies

When you're having fun, just living your life, doing the things that need to be done and some that don't, it's easy for the time to get away from you.

In May I said I'd be able to write more in my blog over the summer. Instead of writing in my blog, I was writing for work, vacationing, working in the yard (my garden is so awesome this year! and some of that has to do with me and my work and some of it has to do with nature), hanging with friends, getting a new housemate and reinventing the house so she feels it's her home too. All of that and no blog entries.

Now the summer is waning, the Earth is slowly tilting away from the sun in preparation for the autumnal equinox and I'll have to get back into my work and adapt to the hectic pace of a new semester in college admissions.

Time flies when you're busy living. And I'm grateful that I've got so much life to live.

Blog silence

So. It's been a while since I posted to my blog. I have reasons, explanations, justifications, excuses for why I have been blog silent. But I'll spare you. Just let it be said that in particular WORK has been occupying the spaces in my life that might have been filled with blogging or just about anything else that isn't work.

I'm still working, thankful to have a job and one that I really like. Things slow down a bit during the late spring and summer, so maybe I'll be a little more diligent about posting to this blog now.

Here's to late spring and summertime!

Happy birthday to me!

Yee haw. I made it to age 52 without too much melodrama.

And it's been a good -- no FANTASTIC -- birthday weekend.

Thanks all who celebrated with me.

Yes, happy birthday to me. And many more!

March madness

This is not about sports.

It's about how life in a college undergraduate admissions office is crazy in the month of March. If you work in this business you just know that your life is not your own in the late winter - early spring. It's about reviewing applications, reading and answering e-mails. Meeting with families. And so on and so forth.

Just wanted to put out here on my blog why I'm sure to be silent for a while ... my free time is limited. Be back soon ... when the madness ends.

Sadness, the blues and melancholy

I'm not sure that I speak for everyone when I speak about this topic. So I speak only for myself.

Often I am sad. Understandable.

Sometimes I sink into the blues. Seems natural.

Many times I am embraced by melancholy. Feels familiar but uncomfortable.

It doesn't bother me that I experience these emotions. What bothers me is that I work very hard to ignore them, to avoid them, to declare them unnecessary, nuisances, bad bad bad things.

As if to say

WHY can't I be HAPPY all the time??

Is anyone really happy all the time? And if it's possible to be happy all the time, and you don't experience sadness, the blues and melancholy ... then how do you really know when you're truly happy?

I'm thinking that sometimes you must dip into the darkness in order to appreciate the light.

A new year, another new reality

Every day is a blessing and every new year is a gift.

I'm grateful to be two years out since my last chemo treatment and two years in to my Tamoxifen therapy. They say that most breast cancer recurrences happen within the first two years after the diagnosis and treatment, so I'm feeling a little closer to being in the clear. It's not that I think I'll ever get the big C again, but once you've wrestled it, you're always going to be a bit more conscious of its ability to show up unexpectedly. And you're always going to be grateful for every new day, every new year.

Happy new year to us all!