On any given Sunday

Just when you think the sun is gonna shine brightly all day, the clouds move in. And then the rain.

It's rained in Richmond every weekend for months. Or at least it seems so. Today started out sunny enough. But by mid-day, before I really even began my chores, it was cloudy. The wind picked up a bit. And it started to rain.

Today's rain wasn't a steady downpour, just a shower here and there. Mostly it's been a misty kind of day.

I started out this weekend with verve and energy to spare. I got a lot of things accomplished. Today the rain came and so did the weariness that seems to embrace me even months after finishing treatments, even a year since my diagnosis. I started the weekend wanting to leave the cancer talk behind me. I wanted to let it go and move on, to be the survivor, not the cancer patient.

But today the rain came.

Stubborn is an adjective I use to describe myself often. Independent might be a better word, less negative connotation there. Either way, when my energy level sinks to low and I can't do what I feel I need to do or want to do, I get pretty cranky; and, I think that while my stubborn independence is what got me through the surgery and the chemo treatments, it also puts me in a bit of a bind when my body says it needs to rest and be still. My mind doesn't want to rest and be still. There are things to do. I rested and was still for long enough, I tell my body. But in the end the body wins that argument.

Today the rain came. And luckily my mind agrees that on a rainy Sunday, the best thing to do is rest and be still.