Memory loss

A while back I mentioned having chemo brain and said I'd talk more about that later. Now is that time.

Chemo brain is pretty interesting. And scary. Before I started chemo, the nurses and doctors told me I'd experience it. One doctor said it should really be called crisis brain because it's a phenomenon that you can experience even without being shot up with cancer treatment; it's a phenomenon that happens when you have a lot going on and a lot on your mind. It's where you can't find the right word for an everyday object like your keys, or the name of the medicine you're taking. Or when you can't recall that you did something ... like when you're in the grocery store and you forgot your list and can't recall if you already bought and have milk in the fridge. Or when you cannot focus on reading a chapter in a book. Or when someone asks you to do something or tells you a story and two days later you cannot recall that conversation.

All those things and more are what happens when you have chemo brain. It's kind of funny. But it's also really kind of frightening. And worrisome. And frustrating. Really frustrating. And the more frustrated you become, the worse the chemo brain becomes.

It's hard to explain all the side effects of chemo, and if you haven't the experience of chemo brain, you might not be able to imagine it. And, I don't want anyone who's reading this to know it firsthand, but if you ever find yourself looking for a word for an everyday object or wondering if you have milk in the fridge when you're in the market, you've gotten a glimpse of what it's like.

I'm sure that eventually the chemo brain will wear off, though something tells me I'll still forget words and what's in the fridge ... but in the future when that occurs, I'll chalk it up to having a lot on my mind!