It's the little things

That's what they say matters in life. The little things.

I'm finding that to be very true these days. Like a getting a phone call from a friend. Receiving an "I'm thinking of you" card or e-mail. Finding out that most fresh fruit tastes good and doesn't make me sick later after I eat it! Getting unexpected presents (like my brother bringing me -- quite unexpectedly! -- his ginormous flat-screen, rear-projection TV yesterday because he and his family got a new TV as an early Christmas present. What a great surprise!).

But what I really discovered yesterday is that giving something to someone else ... giving something of my own that might make a small difference in someone else's life ... that's even more important than getting something myself.

So how did I get there?

As I mentioned, it's been a challenge to find foods that actually taste good and that are good for me, hence my happiness at finding out that some fruits still taste good. Yes, I've mentioned that carrot cake and chocolate really taste good, and I suppose indulging the occasional sugar fix is not the worst thing a girl can do. But most of the things that I used to eat, well those are the things that generally don't taste like they should and in some instances flat out taste like crap! And cold stuff doesn't taste as good as warm stuff. I should note here too that my eating issues go beyond the taste factor. Without getting too graphic, let's just say that I need to be careful not to upset my GI tract and generally that means staying away from high fiber foods like beans, just for example.

And I guess I should point out that the diet I used to eat was pretty much one that was fairly balanced and filled with healthy stuff like fresh greens and salads, beans and rice, fresh veggies and fruits -- most of which right now are not good options for me. I usually cook my own meals and made a lot of Mexican and Italian foods. I grilled steaks, baked and grilled different kinds of fish, roasted pork loins, ate barbecue. I avoided those things that are bad for you, like fried foods, white breads and pastas, sugar. I loved to try new things and considered myself adventurous and creative when it comes to food.

With the onset of chemo-blasted tastebuds, I've been more than a bit overwhelmed and challenged in the kitchen, and while in some ways it may be a good time to experiment, given my energy level it's really just become easier to eat the same stuff -- baked salmon and rice, baked chicken and rice, and baked breaded shrimp or flounder, sauteed spinach, steamed carrots and green beans. I'm finding too that often I'll think something will taste good only to find that is definitely not the case (for example, the carrot soup flavored with ginger and coconut milk that I tried the other day -- sounded tasty and would have been something I'd have eaten in another life ... that day, not so good!), so down the garbage disposal it goes. That's happened way too many times, and I hate to waste food, so like I said, it's easier to stick with what I know tastes okay. But, it's less than creative and hence my food boredom!

So what's the point already, you're asking.

Yesterday I was feeling bored and cranky about my food issues, and even a little more than annoyed because I have a pantry full of foods I can't eat ... marinara sauce, a zillion different salad dressings, pinto and chili beans, black eyed peas and garbanzo beans. Lentil soup. Lots of tomato-based things ... tomato soup, tomato sauce, tomato paste, enchilada sauce (did I mention I love tomatoes and right now anything tomato tastes terrible?? Boo hoo!). Canned tuna (I love to make and eat tuna salad .. but the thought of opening a can of tuna and smelling it right now ... well it makes my stomach wretch).

So I was laying in the bed thinking about all that stuff in the pantry ... going to waste. It's sinful and wasteful ... there are so many people who right now are hungry ... hey wait a minute.

That's when I thought about someone other than me. It's about time!

I went through the cabinet and found that most things that I couldn't eat were still edible in that they didn't have past due expiration dates (well, except one can of tomato paste from 2005 and a soup from 2006, which can I say is not that bad considering!). So I packed up those bottles of salad dressing and the cans of soup and beans and tuna and took them to a 24-hour drop off for the Central Virginia Food Bank with the hope that someone can benefit from my lack of taste these days.

Now, please don't think I am telling this story for a pat on the back. I should have thought of this a long time ago and maybe not have been feeling quite so sorry from myself for the last few months about what I can and cannot eat, considering there are people who are going hungry right this minute and children who will go to sleep without having had a meal ... and in this country. I'm telling you that I did this because it made me feel good to do it, and it was a really small thing to do in the big picture.

So my point here is that while it sounds cliche', it really is the little things that matter in life.

If you would like to know more about the Central Virginia Food Bank, take a look at their Web site www.cvfb.org.